Recently, I have felt a looming resistance to be still. Old stories have resurfaced and I have allowed myself to get caught up in pushing them away and just ‘getting on with things’—but, I know these emotions and feelings need to be felt in order for them to be released.
“The act of presence and stillness creates an opportunity for us to feel into any discomfort and allows it to be released.”
For years I used to think having time to myself to just ‘be’ and not really ‘do’ was simply a waste of time. I would try and do anything to keep myself ‘busy’ and take my mind and body away from stillness and instead focus on doing a task or surrounding myself with friends or family. I would then often wonder why I was so indecisive, why I always felt overwhelmed and never felt I had enough time in the day to complete things. I would be left with feeling burnt out, fatigued and wanting to fall into a heap. This feeling of physical and mental fatigue seemed to be the only time I would actually give myself permission to pause and be still. I was living life from a place of FOMO and over-drive until I just couldn’t keep it up any longer.
When we live from this place we often lose touch with ourselves, what’s important to us and what our top values are—knowing, honouring and living by our values allows us to live from a place of fulfillment, content and joy. But, without time for stillness, introspection and reflection how can we possibly know if we are living from such a state? The answer for me came when I built an awareness of the pattern I continued to follow, which resulted in burn-out and exhaustion both physically, mentally and emotionally—always living from a state of out-ward validation, people pleasing and a need for others to make decisions for me. This disconnection from myself was the awareness I needed, to give myself permission to take stock, lean in and be still with myself.
What if we looked at stillness and creating space to just ‘be’ as a necessity, in order to allow our minds to rest, our body to feel more ease and peace and for our intuition to come forth—without any distraction from our outside world. How would that feel? What might that look like for you? This is a practice for me now, a ritual and a service to myself to allow all my stuff to come forth, to be felt in all its forms. I know it took me to almost breaking point in mind and body to come to this realization, a point that I don’t wish on anyone but, we each have our own journey and if it takes you to that place of extreme emotion, overwhelm, burnout and even ill health—I feel this shows the strength that resides in you. This strength can be your super power to take you from a low place in your health and life to a place where you can use this strength to create change, inner healing and a coming back to who you truly are and do lights you up in life. Because, isn’t that what life is all about—living from a place of authenticity, passion, purpose and joy! I know that is what I have wanted all along but, was looking for it in all the ‘wrong’ places—everything outside of myself.
Let’s stop searching and instead preserve our energy by going within. Be still, now. Allow space for your beautiful self to just be.