Over the last month or so I have noticed my anxiety increasing. I firstly looked at lifestyle contributors, perhaps I was exercising too much—that wasn’t possible, as I had barely done any consistent form of exercise since Christmas except for a morning walk every other day. Perhaps I wasn’t exercising enough, quite a possibility, having let my consistent yoga practice fall by the wayside a little this could be a contributing factor. Had my food changed? Well, in some cases it had, as I have found over the last two months my morning appetite had decreased and breakfasts for me, have become a somewhat smaller portion than usual. I knew I hadn’t been drinking much alcohol with one month only having one glass and the same for my usual one a day coffee, which had turned into a one a day chai or tea.
Then, it dawned on me—I hadn’t been writing or meditating consistently for almost two months. I realized why I was getting all up in my head and wrapped up in thoughts that, I didn’t actually realize at the time I was getting over involved in until I stopped and took time to reflect. Plus, right now, things are a little unsettled with where we will be living in a few months time.
Regardless of the cause, when we are feeling anxious it is generally an opportunity to begin to investigate, become the detective in your own life and body. This is exactly what I have been doing of late and to be honest it feels so empowering. Perhaps the answers won’t come straight away but, beginning the process of really paying attention, pulling out your journal and bringing stillness into part of your day can really help build that self-awareness muscle and allows room for a deeper understanding of what you are feeling. A lot of the time we can go into over-drive when unsettling emotions and feelings come to the fore of our awareness—instead of putting on our investigative hat, taking a moment or two and breathing, it seems easier to soldier on and like I used to think, ‘if I keep busy it will just go away.’ This is so not the case and if anything, those same feelings and emotions will continue to come knocking until they are heard loud and clear.
Taking anxiety along for the ride has been an interesting process for me, yes, it’s uncomfortable a lot of the time and super frustrating at times but, it is has been such an impactful reminder of how important it is to come back into stillness to listen and feel into what is really going on in that moment. What’s that saying? “If there’s no pain there’s no gain”…I guess you could say it’s kind of like that, beyond the ‘pain’ and discomfort is the magick, the missing piece to your own soul puzzle. A puzzle that may take a life time to piece together but, with each moment of stillness and ‘being-ness’ we come closer to understanding oneself—a master of listening to our inner knowing, that voice and presence deep within.